The Solution to All My Concerns: The Healthy Cupcake

I actually can’t even believe I’m considering this – it seems like a total oxymoron, doesn’t it: The healthy cupcake.

My boyfriend – he really is a sweetheart – has apparently been researching healthy cupcake recipes for me. He knows I’m obsessed and have been upset ’cause I ain’t getting my fill! “Cupcakes aren’t supposed to be healthy!,” I exploded when he introduced the concept to me, but you know what? It kinda makes sense. It’s like the best of both worlds!

I can eat my cupcake and have it too – I absolutely LOOOOOVE that. The only thing is – I don’t know how these things are going to taste. I – wait, no, my sweetheart boyfriend – discovered this site full of healthy cupcake recipes (my god, you can find anything on the Internet nowadays, isn’t it great? – and I’ve been scouring through the recipes and I have to say…it really doesn’t look that bad at all. Taste might be another matter, of course, but I’m adventurous enough to try!

Seriously, though, some of the recipes look like the real thing. But, with a totally healthy twist.

Like, check out this one:

Looks like totally delicious chocolate cupcake with strawberry frosting, yea?

Well, it’s NOT. Well, it is chocolate, but the ENTIRE cupcake is vegan AND that frosting has BEET JUICE in it. Yes, super healthy BEET JUICE. You know, that stuff that grows in the ground and is really good for you? – BEETS.

I know I’m typing in CAPS a lot but this really excites me. Like the possibilities are endless! I can be eating cupcakes all the time!!!

Oh wait, check out this cupcake too – this one is so incredible.

This lovely creature here is a GLUTEN FREE banana cupcake with GOAT MILK frosting. How frickin’ awesome is that?!

I was wary of the whole “healthy cupcake” thing, but I am actually really excited about it now. It’s like it’s opened up a whole new world for me. I mean, here I was making the same cupcakes over and over again – and they were great, trust me – using the same ingredients with very little variation other than color and shape and all that jazz. When I could’ve been using and experimenting with ENTIRELY different flavors and ingredients.

I am incredibly excited to get my new healthy cupcake projects off the ground. I’m starting with the 2 up above as soon as I get my paycheck and can order some healthy baking ingredients off Amazon. Can’t wait!!!

Doing What I Love the Most, When I Want to

My god, why didn’t anyone tell me it is so nice to be unemployed?! I’ve always thought of it as a shameful thing, but it is oh, so wonderful 🙂

Okay, I guess I’m not technically unemployed. I didn’t want to be totally broke – which was going to happen sooner than later – so I took a PT catering job. I actually really love it. I love not having to sit down all the time. I love being able to be around so many different types of people. I love that it’s part-time.

The rest of the time, I’ve been getting active again, trying to lose the weight I’ve accumulated. Wow, can I just say it is ridiculous how much weight you can gain in just a couple of months. I think it was the stress factor because I was eating a whole lot more than I needed to be. That’s the funny thing about stress, you know – it’ll do that to ya. I cannot recall the number of bakery treats – always my first choice – I rammed down my throat over this year. Sooooo many. My tummy shows it, too.

Cupcake (Photo credit: zigazou76)…oh, how could you resist?!

And not just my stomach, but I can tell my stamina isn’t what it used to be. I can’t run as long right now and I feel…weighed down. It’s a bit of a bummer, since I used to love working out.

Its also sort of sad that I finally am doing what I love to do – bake cupcakes! – but…I can’t eat them. Well, I can, but I’m really watching myself now. Not just for the weight, but I think consuming cupcakes laden with butter and cream cannot be good for my overall health, yea? And it shows all the more when you’re actually making them, you know?And as they say, health is money 🙂

Health (Photo credit: 401(K) 2013)

Like when you get from a bakery, you just pop them in your mouth without a second thought but when you’re making them you get to see all the sugar and other stuff that goes inside. I’ve been limiting myself to like ONE cupcake for every batch I make, tops.

It’s really sad…but everyone around me seems happy. They’re eating all my cupcakeS!

Eating a Cupcake “Stevie-Style”

This is quite an ingenious post, I must say. Wanted to re-blog it for the benefit of all the other cupcake lovers who have this dilemma.
I personally love the cupcake stache I get – just another delicious reminder of a beautiful memory, IMHO, but I can understand how it’d be a bit awkward for a guy to wander around licking pink cream off his upper lip…
Awesome “stevie-style” solution! Props!

Falcone's Crossroads

Cupcakes are great.  But if you’re like me, you can do without the iced top lip; it’s just unbecoming, especially in mixed company.

Here is a very simple and practical solution that I like to call “Stevie-style”.

Not only does the sandwich-esque modification make for a neater eating of said confection, but it also makes it a healthier serving.  The breaking of the cake requires additional caloric expenditure and also destroys some of the carbs and calories.  This style also maximizes pressure placed on the icing, thus breaking down some of its carb content.

While most of these assertions are still pending scientific validation, it’s still the way I eat a cupcake and my suggested method for anyone looking for a new way to eat one!

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Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cupcakes

I think I’m in love with WordPress. There are just so many cupcake recipes on here by brilliant cupcake bakers! I just stumbled across this one as it was fresh out of the oven and had to re-blog it, if only to remind myself to BAKE THEM!
My favorite breakfast cereal is also cinnamon toast crunch. Now in cupcake form…

Out with the Old, In with the New

WOW. It’s been forever since I’ve been online. I seriously went AWOL – and it was awesome! I really, really needed it. Well…since my last blog post, I quit my job.

That was obvious, wasn’t it?

Looking back on my posts and all the memories it brought of the past few months made it oh, so clear to me that I totally did the right thing. I was scared sh*tless of winding up in the dumpster, but things have turned out pretty okay. OMG, so many things have happened. I don’t even know what to report on ’cause I haven’t even caught up with it myself.

Okay, first of all, I quit. That was great. I didn’t burn any bridges, although it wouldn’t have mattered ’cause I’m never stepping foot in that place ever again. I spoke to my parents about my situation and they could tell I was so crazy frazzled. They can’t really help me financially, but it’s nice to know they support my decision.

ALLL of my friends (and my boyfriend) were sooooo happy I quit. I think they’d all been talking about it for some time now and were frankly, ridiculously confused as to why I didn’t leave. Funny how the people close to you can see something and you can’t ’cause you’re too close to it…

Anyway, I think it was the best decision I ever made. I actually do have some money in my savings account from all the overtime I did and I decided to move out of my place. Not forever – but my bf and I had been talking about moving in together anyway and I found someone to sublet the place I’m currently renting. That was a huge expense and now I won’t have to pay it so I’m feeling awesome about that. Also excited about moving in with my boo! Can’t wait to decorate, Jackie-style 🙂

i’m thinking of something like this, but for like $50

As for the student loans I was so scared about defaulting on, turns out you can suspend them if you’re unemployed. Doesn’t last forever, but hey – I gots me some time to figure things out.

Seriously, the past few days have been lovely. I have soooo much time and it feels like such a luxury since I was deprived of it for so long.

Off to enjoy myself, as I do all the time these days 🙂

The Day That Decided Everything

I guess decisions get made pretty quickly. I heard somewhere or read somewhere that we make all our decisions faster than our mind can register and all the following indecisiveness and not knowing what to do or say is us just trying to rationalize the decision we already made on a subconscious level.

I think that’s true. I think I made up my mind to quit a long time ago and I was just trying to convince myself out of doing it because I’m honestly quite terrified of what might happen to me. I mean, what becomes of you after you quit? Do you wind up a ragamuffin? Are you suddenly preyed upon by old, lonely men with cash?

Who knows. I certainly don’t. And I’ve totally stopped caring. I guess I could’ve seen this coming for a few weeks now. to be honest, I haven’t really been present at work. I mean, I’ve been there. I’m sitting in front of my desk all day. But I am not really there, you know what I mean?

It’s like the Jackie I know and am has totally drifted off to another dimension and it’s this totally strange autopilot person who looks like Jackie who is doing all this typing and frantically talking to clients and answering questions. OMG, I am really going insane.

Anyway, it’s all over. Well, I haven’t quit quite yet but I know I’m done. I don’t know what lies waiting for me once the paycheck stops coming in, but it can’t be worse than this.

Even if I do end up on MTV as the featured sugar baby – hey, at least I’ll be shopping. God, what I wouldn’t do for some free time to frolic about. It’s pretty ridiculous, actually. I was watching some show or another while trying to unwind – one of those sugar baby shows – and my roommate’s immediate reaction was like, “OMG. Can you believe those girls? I can’t believe this whole thing with dating old guys. I mean, get some self respect!”

And my own response was like…”Where’s the ‘self respect’ in wearing yourself to the bone working a fulltime, overtime job for pretty much no compensation? Aren’t we pretty much getting screwed in the butt every single day?”

She accused me of being really pessimistic as of late. Yea, tell me something I don’t know. I was seriously considering finding myself a sugar daddy.

That’s when you know you’ve changed. That’s when you know you have to do something.

I can’t give my life to this anymore. I don’t give a f*ck about what I do. And that wouldn’t be so bad except I have no time to even take care of myself.

I had no right to get so mad at my bf either. It probably took a lot out of him to even say that. It’s funny – our culture is not that big on honesty. We all say we are, but you’re just not supposed to say things to people you care about, even when they’re really hurting themselves, you know? Like, I automatically got offended when he said I had gained weight even though it’s true. I just wanted to remain in denial of it.

Well, I can’t deny it anymore. I’m totally breaking down. I quit. I quit. I quit!

My Boyfriend Called Me Fat

Okay, so my boyfriend called me fat. WTF was obviously my first reaction. I’ve read “He’s just not that into you” and a bunch of other things targeted toward insecure girls with low self esteem and I know that when your boyfriend is mean to you, you should kick him to the curb.

That being said, I have to admit…he’s right.

He wasn’t all like, “neenar neenar neenar – you are a fat a**.” We were just hanging out on a very rare night of me not doing over time and he brought up the subject of work. He knows I’m miserable. God knows I’ve complained about it enough – like every day, like every hour, like every second. I’m complaining about it even when I’m not talking. There’s a constant dialogue happening in my head about how miserable I am.

Anyway, he goes into it and he’s tried to bring it up a few times before but I guess I wouldn’t let him because I’m scared to death about losing my job. I still have massive student loans to pay and I can’t keep myself afloat if I didn’t have a paycheck coming in. But this time, I was in a pretty okay mood and I let him talk about how much I’ve changed and how I’m not myself anymore. He said he still loves me a lot but he misses the girl he used to know, you know, the girl who actually used to laugh. Not like a mean, I’m so fed up with this crap sardonic laugh, but a true belly laugh.

*sigh* I miss her too.

Then he goes on to say that my job is costing me myself and that he noticed I haven’t had any time to even take care of myself lately – like going to the gym. I paused and looked at him – hard. And then he sort of swallowed and said, “I still love you, no matter what, but I also know you and how much you appreciate your body…have you noticed that you’ve gotten kind of fat? I mean, gained some weight?”

I totally exploded. I know what he’s saying. I have eyes. I noticed I’m not so lovely in the mirror these days. Cupcakes are great, but you definitely don’t want to be cupcake-topping out of your pants, if you know what I mean.

I stormed out of his apartment in an angry stampeded of emotions. But I’m not really mad at him. I think I’m mostly mad at myself. For letting me get this way. for letting it get so far.

Nothing Like a Colorful Heart of Cupcakes to Brighten Your Day

I’ve been really space-y lately. It’s like I’m just not all there. Two friends have already suggested that maybe I go “see someone.” I think they’re referring to a shrink.

I would if I could, but I simply have no time, so I’m choosing my own therapy. I found this lovely cupcake recipe today and am planning on baking it asap. It’s already Sunday – boo, work tomorrow – but come the weekend, and I am having a cupcake orgy.

I know I really need to do something to brighten my mood. I think this is it. Found it at Martha Stewart’s website. She has an awesome collection of cupcake recipes. Kudos to her.

Directions

1. Line mini-muffin tins with mini paper liners. Divide chocolate cupcake batter among muffin cups, filling each 2/3 full. Bake cupcakes until testers inserted into centers come out clean, about 10 minutes. Let cool in tins on wire racks.
2. Reserve 1 cup frosting in a bowl. Divide remaining frosting among several bowls. (If making 1 color, place remaining frosting in a large bowl.) Dab a rubber spatula against a tiny drop of gel-paste coloring, and mix into a bowl of frosting. Add more, drop by drop, to reach desired color. Repeat with remaining frosting. If frosting is too dark, mix in some reserved white frosting. Frost cupcakes with tinted buttercream.

Cook’s Note

To create an array of frosting shades, divide a batch of buttercream and tint each portion. We mixed different shades of gel-paste food coloring, including deep pink, dusty rose, egg yellow, lemon yellow, mauve, orange, peach, sky blue, and violet.

If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep Going!…?

Things are still really crappy at work and because of that, in life – but I don’t want to keep on being a Debbie Downer. I guess I can use this blog to vent all my frustrations about everything under the sun but that won’t do me much good so I’m determined to stop.

sad (Photo credit: Kalexanderson)

I guess since I’m going through hell, I have to keep doing and I might as well do it with a smile of face.

Peace and serenity and all that stuff, you know? I just wish I had some time to bake cupcakes, those usually get me in a great mood. It’s just been so hectic lately that I end up passing out as soon as I get home and then I sleep or just stare at things throughout the weekend – when I’m not bringing work home, that is.

There I go again! God, I’m like a non-stop complainer these days. Although I have kinda figured out how to do it with a smile on my face.

So, anyway, since I’m going through hell, I am going to spend today reflecting on things that I do like. I do have things that I love about my life. I love that I live close to a bakery place that I can buy a whole range of cupcakery tools from. Love that!

Cupcake (Photo credit: zigazou76)

Love that there are so many cupcake recipes I can find online – can’t wait to try them all! I love that I have friends and a boyfriend who adore me – although I haven’t been able to see them lately. Still counts, methinks.

I love that I have a supportive family, although they live sort of far away. I think I’m going to take some time off, as soon as I can get approved, to go see them. It’s been awhile.

I love that I can type super fast and vent my thoughts about everything under the sun. I love that I have freedom of speech. I love that this day is over and I am going to bed. Now.

How Things Can Change Within One Post

Okay, to be fair, nothing really changed.

Things just got worse. I feel like I haven’t left my office for days. I actually ended up taking work home for the weekend because I was pretty scared my boss would realize I didn’t have time to do it all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should let him just realize that I don’t have time to do it all. Why, he’ll ask, why didn’t you do it all?

Because I’m freeeeakin’ human!!! I’d explode, take a dump on his desk, win the lottery and live happily ever after.

Ah, that would be so nice, yet it doesn’t look like it’s likely to happen so I better come up with another plan. Not sure how to get myself out of this. If I just had a moment to think and relax, I think I could totally figure something out, you know? If I could just unwind from the pressure of this job for like a month and THINK about my life.

But I can’t. Seriously, even with this full-time job, I’m sort of having trouble with paying the bills. Not really – I do get all my bills paid on time. I have money for that – but to take a whole month off and just relax….yea, my budget can’t support that. I guess I fit into the current demographic of all those kind-of-young “young professionals” who are totally in debt and have no savings. yay!

That’s why I keep taking the over time. I figure, if I work longer, I’m not spending any money. If I work longer, I’m also earning more money which I can hopefully save so I can have a buffer if I get fired or have to quit this job from insanity. I wonder if they did actually drive me insane, if I could sue them in lieu of an unemployment check…

Anyway, there’s been precious little going on that makes me smile. I usually love baking cupcakes on the weekend for myself and my friends but I can’t even remember the last time I did that. There are at least 5 cupcake recipes sitting on the back burner…stuff I’ve been dying to try. Lol.

I hope things get better soon. One of the employees actually stood up to management the other day saying that she just can’t take any more workload. It didn’t even look like she was standing up for herself – it seriously looked like something in her just snapped. She was like, “another client?! another one?!?! I can’t do that! I’m dying already!”

It was so sincere and sort of heart breaking. I totally related. I know everyone else in the office did too. Am exhausted. Going to bed.